Author Archives
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Enron thanks Robinhood for replacing it as the most hated company in U.S. history
The American tradition of scamming your shareholders and customers is alive and well. – ex-Enron investor
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Friend won’t shut up about that time when he almost bought Bitcoin 6 years ago
Take the hint, Matt
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Republicans Cry Communism as Amazon Nationalizes the U.S.
This is an Amazon country and Americans are simply living in it.
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Father Watches Proudly as Son Gets His Own DOJ Antitrust Lawsuit
“He’s finally come into his own, and at such a young age too” Dad Microsoft said.
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Inspiring! Teens Start a GoFundMe To Takeover TikTok Because Why Not
Three Illinois teens have started a GoFundMe page to raise enough funds to acquire their beloved app because this is 2020 and why not.
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Former Fed Chair Janet Yellen Dabs to “TSLA to the moon”, TSLA shares gain 420% overnight
The former Fed chair commented “There’s nothing to clarify. I meant it. Special shout-out to my grandson for inviting me to Robinhood.”
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High End Monitor Feeling Dejected After Spending 100 days in Amazon Cart
Spike in signals of “what am I doing with my (battery) life” and “what is the point (of having a cord)?” have been detected.
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American Tech Companies Unhappy About Being Out-Spied By Chinese Apps
“Like everything else in this country, our tech companies’ ability to snoop on their users has also gone downhill,” a tech insider in San Francisco commented.
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Apple announces iMask, makes masks mandatory for selfies
Equipped with an internal microphone, the mask will allow wearers to speak and curse freely on their phone without taking their masks off. The mask will be priced at $1000.
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Jeff Bezos says he will testify before Congress, but only if he gets a booster seat
“Mr. Bezos was very impressed with Mr. Zuckerberg’s performance in 2018 and just like him, Mr Bezos wishes to speak eye-to-eye, literally.” – Spokesperson