In a newly released press statement, the board of directors of the now-defunct energy company said:
“We were living our lives given up on salvaging our legacy. We are thankful for this great news; we pass the torch on to Robinhood with great relish and hope that it will live up to its predecessor’s infamy.”
However, not all reactions were as as cheerful:
“I have no idea who Enron is but ffs, fuck Robinhood. I was so mad, like, I was literally a few dollars from selling my GME shares but…ooh, what’s that! Dogecoin! #DogecoinToTheMoon.” – Madison, 14, first time investor
“Nice to see that the American tradition of scamming your shareholders and customers is alive and well. I guess it’s good that I still call my broker when I have to place a trade and never figured out the whole trading from your phone thing.” – John, 72, ex-Enron investor
“A #1 is a #1. We’ll take this win and see you next year when we IPO (Please, please, don’t short us).” – Vlad Tenev, CEO, Robinhood
Categories: Stonks