Silicon Valley has a solution for police brutality – RoboCops

“Modern problems require modern solutions”, quipped an insider.

Top Silicon Valley investors, venture capitalists, and tech CEOs came together on Monday to announce their support for Black Lives Matter protests as well as to commit their resources for a cross-company initiative against police brutality. Named ‘Project Murphy’, the initiative aims to create programmable robots that will replace law enforcement agents across America. 

“We can no longer stay on the sidelines and watch as more and more innocent people die at the hands of police. That’s why we are introducing RoboCops. These programmed police won’t discriminate on the basis of gender, race or age,” assured Mary Shelley, project spokesperson. 

When asked about a recent case where facial recognition incorrectly matched members of Congress with criminals, Shelley said the specific test was simply a ‘bad apple’. “It is not our fault that criminals don’t provide us with their most recent photographs!” interjected Mark Zuckerbeg, rolling his eyes.

Jeff Bezos, while present at the meeting, was unavailable for comment. He was last seen rubbing his hands together and mumbling inaudibly about ‘zero wages’. Netflix CEO Rick Hastings announced a reality TV show called RoboPD, premiering in August 2021.

Categories: Public Policy